Today, I have a guest blogger by the name of Marie McKinney Oates from Marriage Studio to talk about how to survive the post wedding blues and also her DIY Marriage Plan. It’s a pretty cool concept.
You’ve spent the last 6 months to a year planning the most fabulous event of your life. You’ve immersed yourself in wedding inspiration blogs and Pinterest boards. You now know the difference between a chiavari chair and a chameleon chair, and that when Juliet asks you about chargers she isn’t talking about your cellphone.
Your wedding day will come. You will have a fabulous time watching your dream wedding become a reality. You will soak up the love from your friends, family, and (of course) your new husband. It will be wonderful.
Then it will be over, and you’ll be left wondering, “Now what?”
Like many brides, you’ll enter the post-wedding blues, where you go from being the Couple in the Spotlight to just a regular old married couple.
The transition into married life can be unexpectedly difficult (even if you’re already living together!). I’ve come up with 3 ways to survive this very natural time for all newlyweds as you go from bride to wife:
Keep the Creativity Alive
One of the reasons we love wedding planning is because all of a sudden it’s ok to let our crafty-and-creative freak flag fly high for the whole world to see. A wedding is a perfect outlet for your creative ideas and being creative is a key piece to a person’s happiness. Commit to staying inspired (why not keep Style Me Pretty in your daily blog reading?) and producing art (yes, how you decided to style your centerpieces IS art).
Some ideas for keeping creativity alive: Host a monthly Pinterest party with your girls, take time to visit museums or antique stores, or take a class and learn something new.
Have a Team Goal/Project
For the past year you’ve had one goal: Throw an awesome wedding. Now that it is complete it is time make another goal! More than just having a goal, make sure it’s a goal that you guys can achieve as a team. For most of you, this is a time in your marriage when it’s just the two of you. At this stage in your marriage’s life cycle (yep, marriages have life cycles) your primary goal is to strengthen your bond. Anything that encourages you two to feel like a team will be beneficial as you build the foundation of your marriage.
Some ideas for team goals/projects: Join an informal team sport in the area (kickball, softball, and bowling leagues are great places to look), commit to getting rid of debt or saving for an awesome vacation, or start a garden together and grow your own salad.
Say “I love you” a lot
Sometimes the transition into married life can be difficult because we quickly start to treat our new spouse like an appliance. You don’t know what you’d do without him/her, but you don’t exactly show your appreciation every day either. Your wedding was a day long celebration to express your love and commitment to one another. Obviously, you probably won’t have another party for your relationship for another 25 or so years, but that doesn’t mean you’re excused from expressing your love in smaller, daily ways.
Some ideas for saying “I love you” daily: Read the 5 Love Languages and start speaking their language, commit to weekly date nights, say thank you for something every single day.
Bonus: Make a Plan
Transitions are always easier when you have a plan so why not make one before you begin one of the biggest commitments of your life? Make a point to talk about your expectations, your personality differences, and what it means to fight fair.
Some ideas for making a plan: Talk to a trusted counselor or religious figure, read a relationship book together, or check out the DIY Marriage Plan an online marriage preparation course.
No matter how you decide to navigate the post-wedding blues just know that it is completely normal and everything will probably turn out ok.
Marie McKinney Oates, M.M.F.T. is the founder of the Marriage Studio and a relationship coach in Nashville, TN. She created the DIY Marriage Plan as a way to provide couples with in-depth marriage prep without having to talk to a stranger or even leave the couch!
For a complimentary consultation for wedding planning services, please email us: firstname.lastname@example.org