Photo credit: Elegant Images

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I’ve heard these complaints over and over again regarding bridal party issues:

“I’m thinking of canceling my bridal shower. I don’t care anymore because my maid of honor isn’t doing anything!”

“I had to plan my own bachelorette party because nobody in my bridal party wanted to plan it.”

“I think my bridesmaids expect me to pay for their dresses and I simply can’t afford to pay for all of their dresses.”

It’s so sad when I hear these things.  That’s why it is so important that bridesmaids and groomsmen be made aware that they actually have a role in your wedding. There is more to being a bridesmaid and groomsman than putting on a pretty dress or nice tux on the wedding day, standing by you during the ceremony, and being in all of the bridal party photos. Here are a few of my tips:

• Don’t choose someone because you need that 4th person to even out your bridal party. It’s better (and okay) to have an odd number. We can work with 3 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen for the processional without any problems.
• Do explain to your potential bridal party members that they will need to take an active role in wedding activities such as planning bridal showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and making speeches/toasts.
• Do explain to your potential bridal party members that there will be a cost involved – unless you’re paying for their dresses/tux, they are responsible for their attire, contributing to the bridal luncheon, and paying for part of the bachelor/bachelorette parties.  If it is a destination wedding, they may also be responsible for travel and accommodations.  Do explain that you will understand if they must decline because of financial reasons.
  
• Do choose people that are important to you in your life. This should go without saying.
• Do remember that even if bridal party members are responsible for their own attire that you’ll need to budget for extra boutonnieres and bouquets. If your budget is tight, don’t choose to have 8 bridesmaids. Eight bridesmaids x $100 a bouquet can add up pretty quickly.
  
• Don’t hesitate to “let go” of an attendant if you feel he/she is not interested in being part of the bridal party and only accepted out of obligation.

Michelle and Rob, May 2009, Photo by Denise Hoogland

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website * Email: juliet@greenorchidevents.com

Ace bandage
After shave lotion
Aisle runner
Aluminum foil
Antacid (Tums or Rolaids or Zantac)
Antibacterial gel
Antihistamine
Antiseptic cream
Baby formula
Baby powder
Balloons
Bandages
Band Aid for Blisters
Barrettes
Batteries (AA, AAA, 9 volt)
Bible
Black socks for men
Black tie
Blister protection
Blotting paper
Bobby Pins (black, brown, blond)
Boombox
Bottle opener / corkscrew
Bottled water
Bowtie (4 to 6) – clip on
Bra cups – assorted sizes, nude color
Broom – for broom jumping and one for cleaning (smaller one) and dustpan
Bug spray
Bungee cords
Buttons (black)
Cake box
Cake knife/server
Calligraphy pen
Candle “buttons”
Candle – tealights
CD of wedding music
Chalk
Clear Nail Polish
Clips (table skirting)
Clothespin
Club Soda
Collar extender
Collar Stays
Cologne
Congrats cards
Contact Solution / lens drops / case
Corn pads
Corsage Pins
Corsage Wrist bands
Cottonballs
Cough drops
CPR disposable mask
Crayons / pads of paper
Crochet needle/hook
Cuff links
Curling Iron
Dental Floss
Deodorant
Diapers
Disposable camera
Disposable gloves
Double-sided Tape
Earrings
Earring Backs
Electric adapter
Emery Board
Envelopes
Extension cords – small and heavy duty
Eye drops
Eye wash
Eyeglass repair kit
Eyeglasses (reading)
Fabric and lace scraps
Facial Tissue
Fans (battery operated, hand)
Fashion Tape
Feminine Cleansing Cloths
Film
First Aid Kit
Fishing line
Flashlight (small, solar non battery operated)
Floral pins
Floral tape
Floral wire – green and white
Floss
Foot powder and spray
Garter
Gel packs – hot and cold
Glue (regular and super and fabric)
Goo Gone
Guestbook
Gum eraser
Hair Brush/comb
Hair clips
Hair Dryer
Hair pins
Hair Spray/gel
Handkerchief
Handwarmers
Hand sanitizer
Hem tape
Highlighter
Hole punch
Hot glue gun and glue sticks
Index cards
Inkpad
Interior Mirror
Invitation – original
Iron
Jewelry cleaner/cloth
Kiddish
Knee Highs
Knives – X-acto, cutting
Lightbulb
Lighter (2)
Linen napkins
Lint Remover
Lip balm
Lotion (facial and hand)
Lysol wipes
Magnifying glass
Makeup basics and brushes (eyelash comb, eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick, eyeliner, foundation)
Makeup remover cloths
Maps (local and regional)
Meat tenderizer (bee stings)
Medicated Patch
Men’s Grooming Kit
Mints
Mirror for makeup
Mouthwash
Nail Clipper
Nail Glue
Nail Polish (bridal, clear, and red)
Nail Polish Remover (pads)
Napkin – cocktail and dinner
Necklace – pearl
“Non Skids” for shoes
Notepad
Pain Reliever (Midol, Advil, Tylenol)
Pantyhose (nude, white, ivory)
Paper towels
Pencil Sharpener
Perfume
Pipecleaners
Pitcher and cups
Placecards
Playing Cards
Plastic wrap
Pocket knife
Q-tips
Radio
Razers – disposable
Reserved signs
Ribbon – ivory and white
Ringpillow
Robe – lightweight
Rope/string/yarn/twine
Rose petals – dried and assorted colors
Rubberbands – clear and regular
Rubbing Alcohol
Safety Pins (large and small)
Saltine Crackers
Sanding block
Sand paper
Scissors
Sewing kit
Sharpie
Shaving cream
Sheckel (Israeli coin)
Shoe horn
Shoe and heel inserts
Shoe laces (men)
Shoe polish/mitt
Shower cap
Sippy cup
Sixpence (British coin)
Smelling salts
Snacks (fruit snacks/cheese its/Balance Bar)
Stain Remover/Shout wipes
Static Remover
Stool or chair
Straight pins
Straws
Sunscreen
Tampons/pads/regular and thong pantyliners/menstrual cramp heatpad
Tape (fabric/regular/duct/packaging/scotch)
Teabags (peppermint, green, and ginger)
Thank you cards
Tiara
Tissue
Tobacco patch
Tool kit (mini)
Toothbrush/mouthwash/floss
Toothpaste
Toothpick
Toss Bouquet – fake
Toupee Tape
Trash bags
Tulle
Tweezer
Twinkle lights
Umbrella (black)
Vaseline
Velcro strips
Visine
Wedding bands
Wet Naps
White Manicure Pencil
Yamulka
Water mister
White Kosher Wine (with screw top)
White Out
White Sandals (for bride)
Wicks
Wine glass
Wine Off
Wrapping paper and tissue paper
Ziploc bags (small and large)

I love the website Minimus for travel sized items.  Recently, I purchased a splinter remover as well as an eyeglass repair kit for my wedding emergency kit.

Don’t forget your wedding dress, shoes, jewelry, undergarments, rings, and marriage license of course!  Have I left out anything?

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